Self-discipline versus denial

Author: Theun Mares. Link to original: http://www.toltec-legacy.com/public-articles/21212_WE_0909f8814208cae0048af0ef9c195b39.html (English).
Tags: denial, Self-Discipline, Toltec Teachings, Warriors Experience Submitted by Warriorskeep 12.09.2016. Public material.
Question: Theun, can you elaborate on the concept of self-discipline?

Translations of this material:

into Russian: Самодисциплина против отрицания. Translated in draft, editing and proof-reading required.
Submitted for translation by Warriorskeep 12.09.2016

Text

Question: Theun, can you elaborate on the concept of self-discipline?

The books explain that the Warrior's Path is not a path of denial and that the motives for our actions should be life supporting. Doesn't this mean we should deny ourselves bad behavior? For example, I think about sex obsessively and not in a life supporting way. How do I "act as if" I am dealing with this? I try to not masturbate or think of women in lustful terms and I know that it is illusion to think of women in this way, but sooner or later the pressure builds up and my mind is overwhelmed by lust. How can I relate to and help women if I can't get past seeing them as sex objects? My dreams indicate that I sorely need intelligent cooperation with the female and yet I am thinking about exploiting them :( I often think about the choice between freedom and high adventure and would I be strong enough to choose freedom. However, it seems to me that unless I am incorruptible in my desires, then lust, power and selfishness will be my downfall. The result of this failure is always a deep melancholy bordering on depression.

Another concept I have trouble with is change as an act of survival. If I were more intelligent wouldn't I see that every choice is an act of survival? How do I get unstuck from my folly of thinking that I can be impeccable tomorrow rather than now?

Thank you.

Answer: LOL! My friend, you sound so very doleful!

Denial is NOT self-discipline. The reason why it is stated that the warrior does not deny himself anything is because how can we possibly learn through denial? By this I am NOT implying that this gives us a license to act in ways which are not life-supportive. No! We ALL know what is life-supportive and what is not. For example, I will not murder someone, for I know full well that murder is not a life-supportive act, even though I must admit that sometimes it can be quite tempting when I am forced into dealing with someone who precipitates either disaster or a near-disaster just because of being fast asleep! LOL!

Self-discipline has got everything to do with WANTING to LEARN from our folly, whereas denial has got everything to do with secretly INDULGING in our folly, but then because of self-loathing denying ourselves the possibility of learning from our folly, or worse still, denying the fact that we are too lazy to learn from our folly. For example, let us look at your obsession with sex.

There is no doubt a great gift for you in your obsession with sex, if ONLY you would stop DENYING yourself the opportunity to learn from it. You can SPEND, and please note my choice of words here, you can SPEND the rest of your life DENYING yourself this mind-set, or you can INVEST a relatively short space of time in extracting from this the gift of power that is rightfully yours. So what is it to be? :) Are you going to SPEND the rest of your life in denial? Or are you going to INVEST SOME of your time in cultivating the necessary SELF-DISCIPLINE in order to learn more about yourself? Looked at in this way it is clear to see, no?

So if you are asking me for guidance on this I will say this to you. Stop beating yourself up for being a very naughty boy, for there is ZERO to learn from this. Also stop trying to PRETEND that you are actually a disciplined boy, for there is ALSO zero to be gained from this. LOL! Instead ADMIT to yourself that you are a sex maniac and that you want to use and abuse every woman you can get your hands on! Phew! Now you must at least admit to the fact that such HONESTY is liberating, no? <ebwg> But now what? :( and B-:)

Now, my friend, NOW you can start to address this issue with everything you have got! And above all you can START by ACTING AS IF you have the required SELF-DISCIPLINE to see this through in terms of LEARNING from your folly. If you ACT AS IF you have what it takes to learn, you won't be squealing in no time at all that this is too hard, that you don't have the required clarity or personal power, that you are trying but getting nowhere fast, for if you do, you will ALSO have to admit to yourself that true CHANGE is not for you a Path with a Heart, for in actual fact you believe you are IMMORTAL! LOL!

With my warmest regards and much laughter, :) Théun