Nagal, a, support from, examples of (Warriors' Experience)

Translations of this material:

into Russian: Примеры поддержки Нагваля (Опыт Воинов). 4% translated in draft.
Submitted for translation by Warriorskeep 26.12.2017

Text

Question:

Aah, Theun, I write today to express how I have wept without words into the fresh new green of the forest, too tired to receive its sustenance. How tired my body, how weary my bones and spirit feel from the long years of aloneness and separation, how the wounds of combat suppurate and swell, and to tell you how deep is the battle fatique, and in such moments how the mind babbles incoherently.

Yet this is only a small part of this life, and a price I willingly pay for coming home to the heart, and though I cannot yet feel the joy of freedom, I sense it and will follow it to the death of whatever needs to die. Your guidance towards my heart has renewed my strength and today I see clearly enough to place one foot in front of the other. And if I falter tomorrow and go blind, it is good to know that you can see and that I can call upon you to give me guidance when it is needed.

There have been times in my life when I have felt so broken that I have not been able to perceive beauty in myself or others, and when looking into the eyes of ones who have murdered many, seeing that dull dead coldness, I realise that I have never been as separated from the One Life as they are. I feel sad watching as power is polarizing those around me, and many of us choose paths different to that of the heart and I wonder, when feeling so tired, how can I be of use.

And yes, I did indeed call many facets of abuse into my life, and see how even as a small child I chose to place my trust outside myself and to betray myself time and time again. It was this action that enabled me to experience separativeness from life, to be broken almost to madness, almost to death. I am grateful for my biological family and others for teaching me, for showing me what I chose to learn. I will meet them where they choose to meet me with as much as myself as is possible. There is only One of us here. It hurts so to see the beauty inside each and everyone of us and know through feeling separation so many of us cannot touch it.

In not knowing how to respond to my dance colleague, I chose detachment, I gave her space to come to rehearsals, but gave her no direction in the dance. She has paid much attention, giving a lot of effort and taking responsibility for her learning. She did so well, I just had to give her a great big hug.

There is much for me to learn and a long way yet to go. Even so, with as much of my being that I can call forth right now and with all that I can call from my heart, Theun, I stand with you all.

Answer:

:) My heartfelt friend, you have, like all of us, had to learn the hard way, but in this we build MUCH strength! You have also suffered much heartache and pain, and you still do, but believe me when I say that with that pain and suffering comes TRUE release from the bonds of identification with the form side of life! You, my lovely and loving friend, are WELL on your way to liberation, and thus to true freedom! B-:)

I know what you mean when you say, ".....many of us choose paths different to that of the heart and I wonder, when feeling so tired, how can I be of use." Many, MANY times in this lifetime alone, let alone memories of past lives of similar experiences, I too have felt this great loneliness of the spirit, and I too have often despaired! But you know what? It has always been in times like these that my HEART has again come to me, and my DEATH has again sat down beside me, and then I have remembered that:

AS WARRIORS WE GO IN THERE AND WE GIVE IT OUR EVERYTHING.

AND WHEN WE FEEL AS IF WE HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE,

THEN WE RECALL THAT THE ONLY FAILURE IN LIFE IS THE FAILURE TO FIGHT.

IN THAT MOMENT THE IMPECCABILITY OF THE WARRIOR’S SPIRIT SURFACES

TO SPUR US ON INTO RENEWED EFFORT, AND TO INSPIRE US

WITH AN EVEN GREATER STRENGTH OF PURPOSE THAN EVER BEFORE.

My dear friend, I KNOW that your heart lies with us all, and for this I love you very dearly! :)

With all of my warmth and my heart,

Your friend,

Theun