Man of Action, an apprenticed, Theun addressing the behaviour of (Warriors' Experience)

Author: Theun Mares. Link to original: http://www.toltec-legacy.com/public-articles/list.html (English).
Tags: Apprentice, Man of Action, Toltec Teachings Submitted by Warriorskeep 28.01.2017. Public material.

Translations of this material:

into Russian: Теун рассматривает как ведёт себя ученик-Человек Действия (Воинский Опыт). Translated in draft, editing and proof-reading required.
Submitted for translation by Warriorskeep 28.01.2017

Text

Question:

Theun, I am not at all sure what to say, other than that I can finally see my folly in so nearly having brought about separation within the group through my actions. I am sorry, Th├йun! I am not too sure where to from here? I need some time to think. I need clarity. I want to resolve the mess I have made, but I need time. Is there any guidance you can offer me at this point?

Answer:

Now that we have had the Full Monty what are you going to DO? Wallow in feeling helpless and powerless? Confuse yourself even more? So TYPICAL, my friend, of a MAN who just does NOT WANT to take responsibility for his actions! You say, "I need time to think!" Think about what? You say, "I need clarity!" Clarity on what? You say, "I need time to resolve this!" But HOW are you going to resolve anything without taking DEFINITIVE ACTION? You can THINK as much as you want to, and STILL you will not have taken any action! And what more clarity do you need other than WHAT you can already see in terms of your behaviour?

You ask FOR guidance, and I AM giving you guidance! But ARE you WILLING to take RESPONSIBILITY for having asked FOR the guidance you receive? Or are you still EXPECTING me to come up with THAT type of guidance that is somehow going to LET you OFF the HOOK? Now that the cookie has crumbled in your HANDS, you would prefer to FAIL on your own terms, rather than to FACE the song and dance of YOUR making!

I am NOT interested in giving you a thrashing, my friend! God only knows I have already given you ENOUGH bloody hidings! But THIS time round you WILL face the goddamned mess you have created, NOT like a wimp who is begging to be let off the hook, but like a MALE! The true MALE takes the punches standing UP, remember! And remember my words to you, my friend, when we first met? You have quoted them often enough! "Just strive to become evermore male, and all will fall gently into place!"

It is your FATE to be a male in this lifetime, and as I have tried to impress upon you over and over again, in THIS you have all of our love and our support! But, even with the BEST will in the world, no-one can take your lead whilst you continue to be CLOSED, DEFENSIVE and SELF-CENTRED! You have one of the BIGGEST hearts I have ever seen, and your warmth is a sheer JOY to experience! But you only ever show this to me! With the rest of the members of the group you prefer to be cold, aloof and stand-offish! Why? Only because of your FEAR of inadequacy! Your FEAR that you are useless and therefore not good for anything! To cope with that fear, rather than FACING it and finding the STRENGTH within to step over it, you choose to start playing games, games which you perceive to be clever! This is what I mean by wanting to fuck! But in submitting to your fear again and again, you inevitably, as ALWAYS does happen, materialize your worst fears, and thus keep on proving to yourself that you are IN-DEED no good and useless! In doing that you not only fuck yourself, but also all those around you!

My friend, HOW can anyone take such a lead?

I know that you are WITH me, but what drives me crazy is your INDULGENCE in your lack of self-belief! I am NOT expecting you to change your self-image overnight, but I DO expect you to FACE your fear, like I KNOW you CAN!

And, yes, I do love you, more than you would believe! But, my friend, this is the SECOND time you have through your lack of belief in self very nearly destroyed the group by CALLING FORTH the forces of DIVISION and SEPARATION! This is precisely why I asked Y, what it is with Men of Action? Why must the WHOLE BUILDING be broken down BEFORE they will initiate true ACTION? Somehow Men of Action, BECAUSE the North is the place of FEAR, always tend to hold onto the demented IDEA that in order to act they must FIRST be PERFECT, and everything within their lives must FIRST be PERFECT! In other words, in their FEAR of ACTION, Men of Action will JUSTIFY their lack of action by choosing to believe that they are not YET ready! But when WILL you be ready? Must you FIRST eradicate your view of the world, break down the WHOLE BUILDING, before you will feel ready?

But, my friend, you CANNOT break down the building, you CANNOT eradicate your self-image OR dismantle your view of the world when you keep shying away from ACTION, and thereby keep running away from your challenges! This Russell already tried to point out to you a LONG time ago! But you never even responded to him!

So what do you do instead of facing your greatest FEAR, which is taking DEFINITIVE ACTION? You start to become AGGRESSIVE and DESTRUCTIVE like some cornered animal! You start to LASH OUT at those who are trying to PUSH you into taking action! Instead of seeing it for the SUPPORT it is, your FEAR gives you the ILLUSION that you are being ATTACKED! But even IF you ARE perhaps being attacked, is this in itself not a wonderful SUPPORT to start taking REAL DEFINITIVE ACTION, instead of lashing out wildly in some misguided belief that you are fighting for your survival? The survival of WHAT, my friend? Your petty self-image? Your FEAR? Your view of the world?

If you really DO want to fuck, then say to yourself, "Oh, FUCK this bloody self-image of mine! FUCK this goddamned BELIEF I carry with me that I am useless! FUCK it, I am just going to ACT, right HERE, right NOW!" And then take that ACTION, right here and right now, but do so NOT with a chip on your shoulder, but with ALL of your HEART! If you DO you will FEEL so GOOD about yourself! But in feeling good about yourself, WATCH OUT madly for COMPLACENCY, for once you HAVE acted there will be the NEXT action, and then the next that NEED to be taken! Why? Quite simply because ACTION begets ACTION!

So! Where do you start? Because the power lies in the moment, get your arse moving, Mr. Man of Action!

I hope that you will now TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR having called forth this guidance!