Feelings & Emotions - Is there a Difference?

Author: Theun Mares. Link to original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RS-L7kqohQ&t=25s (English).
Tags: Feelings & Emotions, Toltec Teachings Submitted by Warriorskeep 27.02.2017. Public material.

Translations of this material:

into Russian: Чувства и Эмоции - Есть ли разница? (Элизабет Шнуг). Translated in draft, editing and proof-reading required.
Submitted for translation by Warriorskeep 27.02.2017

Text

Hello Everybody, it’s Elizabeth Schnugh again, Director for the Institute for the Study of Man.

The objective of my doing these Vlogs, as I have shared before, is to address the fact that we have all had academic schooling growing up, but we have never actually had true education as such. And when I talk about "true education" I am talking about those tools that we need to live our lives on a day to day basis. And most of the tools I give you, if not all of them, will be tools that won’t be new to you. The tools may be new, but the behaviour is not necessarily new to you.

When you’re getting something right in your life and you’re actually moving forward, in every case, you will find, if you had to retrace your steps, that you have actually gone through a step by step process to do that.

So what I’m doing is highlighting the steps that you have actually taken when you do "have it right", where you sometimes think it's a fluke, or a miracle.

And so that when you feel stuck at some point in time, or you’re not actually moving forward, you can look back, retrace your steps and say "Okay, I missed this step out, and this is the one I need to apply now" - and that will then move you forward.

So, in the previous Vlog I was talking about the concept of "Impeccability" which is "to do the very best that you can at any given moment in time, using all the information and the knowledge that you have, in that moment".

I also shared that when we talk about "doing", the "doing" includes "What I feel, IS what I feel what I am expressing!

Am I actually sharing with whoever it is that I’m interacting, how I REALLY feel?' Whatever it is that I am picking up - or am I actually saying one thing, feeling another one and maybe even doing something else completely differently? So the concept of "Impeccability", which is our theme for this year, for 2017, a 10 year, it is actually to apply impeccability to everything that we do, and how critical that is when we actually go from moment to moment.

I also shared that when it comes to "doing", we need to be clear on what we mean by that. What I mean by that is your "doing" means that your thinking, your feeling, your expressing of your words, your actions, all need to be in synchronisation, one with the other.

If any of them are out of kilter, in other words, if you are feeling something but you are not speaking up and you are saying something completely differently - and often it is because of our social conditioning which is wanting to please other people. You know we all want people to like us, so sometimes we will bend the truth, tell that little white lie that we don’t believe is actually an untruth in some way, then we are not being impeccable.

And very quickly there will be a sense of melancholy that will kick in. But let me actually go back a step, because what I do need to clarify is the difference between "feelings" and "emotions" It’s one of the things that we mix up as part of our social conditioning, that feelings and emotions are the same things. And we use those words interchangeably and the way that people talk about them, they use them as if they are one and the same thing, but they’re not.

Feelings and emotions are very different things.

Feelings are those things that relate to your gut feel, it's irrational, it’s your intuition speaking to you.

It's you driving along a road going up a hill and you are about to overtake a car and at the last second you decide not to - and in that moment a big truck comes over, hurtling down towards where you would have been.

Something actually said to you. And often those irrational feelings are things that are often only corroborated afterwards.

You will have the feeling and if you act on it, often called "listening to your heart", if you listen to it and you act on that, often you will only find out afterwards whether it was a true feeling, or whether in actual fact it was your poor self image. And of course the only way to test that out, because we don’t trust our feelings anymore. Our social conditioning is such that when we were little already, we stopped expressing what we really felt about things.

Because if you look at a little child they are all feeling, they don’t have a rational mind yet, it hasn’t yet developed, the rational mind IS developing - why they call it the developing years, but they are all feeling, so they don’t really understand the logic and the rational side of things. And so ‘out of the mouths of babes’, you have often heard that, a child will actually express what it is that it is picking up at various levels, and out comes the onesty.

They don’t hold back on anything, because they haven’t yet learned to mask those feelings.

Of course as we grow up, and our rational mind starts to form, we will get to the age of say, 9/10/11/12, round about then, when our rational minds are formed, and then that’s when we start to question everything.

More often than not we start to question everything that our parents taught us up until that time. Because now we are beginning to understand what it is that they are imparting to us and when we see that their actions do not actually, are not in line with what they have been saying all this time, we are going to start challenging, and of course those are the puberty and the teenage years, the challenging ones that come up.

So you can see we would come along and we would express exactly how we are feeling, and then at some point in time we would also sense disapproval that whatever we brought to the party was not approved of in some way, and if mommy or daddy or some adult around us whom we loved very much, does not like us in some way or does not approve of us in some way or another, we soon going to learn that it is not actually safe to express how we really feel.

But we get a little bit confused now, because on the other hand we keep on being told that we need to be honest and we mustn’t lie. So what do we do? If we speak the truth, we land up upsetting people. If we don’t speak the truth we land up upsetting people, so out of that, out of those predicaments that we experience as a child, we learn the ‘nothing’ game.

And that’s where it comes from! "What’s the matter?" ..."Nothing".

You heard yourself saying that before?

"How are you doing"?

"I’m fine".

"Everything ok?"

"I’m okay. Everything’s fine.

Everything’s perfect".

And yet everybody can FEEL that there is something going on, that’s not going right with us!

Okay, so that’s the feelings, the gut feelings.

The emotions, on the other hand, there is only one pure emotion, and that is the emotion of ‘DESIRE’. And you can express desire as "I want to".

So that true emotion, that desire is then split into four aspects. There are four aspects to it, and the first one is Fear - which is the desire to run away. We would normally interpret it as that. It’s to "Re-treat", in actual fact. I’ll come back to that now.

Then there is Anger - which is the desire to Fight. Melancholy - which is the desire to Change. And then there’s Joy - which is the desire to Live.

In subsequent Vlogs to come I’ll actually go into more detail on each one of these, because it is critical for us to know what fear actually is, what it entails and I will also give you the technique of how to tackle it. Because of course if you don’t tackle your fear, it will at some point in time, it will subsume you, it will overtake you. It will debilitate you in actual fact, if you don’t tackle your fears. But we need a step by step process to do that. And of course when you ARE tackling your fears, you have been through a step by step process, and because we haven’t been taught what each one is, then when we are not getting it right and we do find ourselves in that debilitated state, it’s because we have missed out one of the steps.

Anger - the desire to fight . Of course our social conditioning, like fear - fear is about the desire to run away. No, it’s not! It's the desire to Re-treat, which is to take one step back and to assess what is really going on. You hear the noise at night. There is a sound in your house and up comes the fear - and then it is very easy to allow that fear to debilitate you. Whereas if you actually just say "Look you know, I’m actually feeling afraid right now" - and it's okay to acknowledge that In that moment you are buying that little bit of time, to just take a step back, to assess the situation before you just become paralysed.

Anger? Once again social conditioning kicks in and it’s the desire to fight! And now we want to fight all and sundry around us. And we want to go and beat everybody up because they are being nasty to us. Whereas in actual fact that desire to fight, is in actual fact, the desire to fight for CLARITY! It's the desire to fight for clarity. "What’s really going on? Why am I experiencing anger right now, what’s really going on here?

I need to get some clarity". And more often than not, when the anger comes up, it's because somebody is treating us with disrespect. Somebody is not treating us in the way that we would like them to treat us or the way that we treat them. And of course that anger is the tool that comes up to support us, to say "Something needs attention here". There’s pain behind anger. And pain, if it’s physical pain, we know it needs attention. Anger is

emotional pain and it says "Stop! Stop the bus right here because I need to check out what’s really going on?!" And because it is OUR emotion, it is not necessarily to do with anybody else around us, but because of our social conditioning, we LASH out, and particularly with the people closest to us.

Melancholy? The desire to change. How many people do you know, the moment that they feel depressed in some way or another, (pop a pill). And I’m not saying that there isn't something very advanced when you allow it to get too far. But I am talking about that little feeling (emotional feeling) that we’ve been given as a really handy tool, where we experience feeling off, where we experience feeling down, where we experience feeling depressed, and in that moment, acknowledging that this is the desire to change, it does NOT mean that you need to go and find something to change! Not at all! Life is bringing us many challenges anyway! There we are, in our little boat in the middle of the ocean, which is our Life, and we are just going along in our little boat, those waves are coming, no matter what we do! We don’t have to go looking for those waves. What we DO need to do though, is we need to learn to surf them. And melancholy is a beautiful gift that has been given to us. That desire to change, what that really means, is that we already started the process of change, we may have made a decision to change something, it is January (now February:-) ) , how many New Year’s resolutions did you make? And by now, maybe you have broken, or "Here I am again! I said give up this one, or I do that , or I take up that" And now here we are at the end of January (Feb) and we possibly haven’t done it and we’re not feeling good about ourselves. And that is what that melancholy is. That says "You made a decision

to do something. You decided that you were going to change your behaviour in some way or another". You don’t have to change yourSelf. There is nothing wrong with you! You’re perfect exactly the way that you are. But maybe there is some behaviour that you want to change.

And if you decided to change it and you haven’t followed through on it, melancholy’s going to kick in. So the desire to change that melancholy when it kicks in, it’s.. don’t go looking for what you now need to change. You already started the process, but you’re not living true to yourself.

Keep it simple. Life is simple. And the desire to live? Joy? How often in a day do we pause... "Wow, I’m experiencing joy". And I will leave you on that note right now, because for me to be able to impart these tools to you - and it’s the tools that have REALLY helped me to turn my life around since I started to discover them and went hunting for them, has brought me so much joy. And in this moment for me to be able to pass them on to whoever may be watching this right now, gives me a huge amount of joy.

Thank you very much for listening and I will see you soon and will bring you the techniques to tackle your fear, to handle your anger, and maybe some more on melancholy and joy.

Thank you everybody. En-joy your day.