Building awareness (Warriors' Journeys)

Author: Theun Mares. Link to original: http://www.toltec-legacy.com/public-articles/list.html (English).
Tags: Awareness, building, Challenge, working with Submitted by Warriorskeep 30.03.2018. Public material.

Translations of this material:

into Russian: Выстраивание осознанности (Путешествия Воинов). Translated in draft, editing and proof-reading required.
Submitted for translation by Warriorskeep 30.03.2018

Text

When I look at my challenges in the outside world, both current and past, I can see the possible battles as EITHER the external challenges, individually and collectively, OR what they reflect - the battles within.

For me the correct battle is the battle within. However, this does not mean that I will neglect external challenges. I feel that the battle within is the attempt of my little "self" to take the lead instead of following the lead of my heart.

The applicable guidance appears to be:

Recapitulation for clarity.

The power lies in the moment.

Being right here and now.

Listening with every fibre of my being.

Stalking perceptions/Not-doing.

I know that the challenges I am facing are a reflection of my inner states and the interaction of the self with external events. Recapitulation has helped me to obtain some understanding of the nature of the self and its interaction with external events.

To see the self in action I had to be in the moment and objectively observe my thoughts/emotional reactions to events. I practised not-doing as appropriate.

What I found was that:

The self is a bundle of memories based on factual matters, beliefs, prejudices, ideas, concepts, memories of past experiences and emotions - things related to the past. Most of these beliefs etc. were taught to me or appropriated from others.

My thoughts/emotional responses to events in the MOMENT were based on my memories of the PAST and ideas about the FUTURE.

The self is mainly in a state of BECOMING (e.g. a warrior) and always acts in a manner that will put it, externally or internally, in the centre of events.

The self acts as if it is in control and clings onto its apparent continuity in spite of evidence to the contrary.

The self can only deal with mental concepts - it cannot grasp the REAL, the UNKNOWN, or BECOME anything other than other bundles of mental concepts.

It is possible to be aware of the internal and external worlds at the same time. It seems to reduce the internal dialogue to almost nothing.

Some time ago I woke up and could not go back to sleep. While lying down I felt my awareness moving and drawn towards the vicinity of my heart. The process was disconcerting and provided an unusual perspective, but I stayed with it. I experienced a blissful state of being. It was a strange event because even though thoughts popped up (in that vicinity), they did not disturb that state of being. Eventually, this state faded out.

I feel that this event is somehow related to practising being aware of the inner and outer at the same time.

In terms of working with this, I pay attention and notice the thoughts, feelings and impulses that arise as I go about my daily business. For example, I have noticed that when I look at a thing (e.g. a street name) I automatically name it internally. I am aware of both acts. Other things I notice happening are the automatic judgements I make when I see/meet people, and the automatic movements in my attention when I hear what reinforces/contradicts my views. It helps me with stalking myself.

When I pay attention to inner/outer I get the feeling of being more present and less caught up with what is happening out there and in here. I also notice minute variations in bodily activity and posture. It makes me feel more calm and detached. When I stop paying attention in this way, I seem to get caught up in my thoughts/emotions (in other words, it feels as if I am moving in treacle).

Based on the guidance I received, I have drawn the following conclusion.

Above all, to TRY to stay with the heart, for it is ONLY the heart that can INCLUDE, or bring TOGETHER the outer and the inner! The mind is just plain SEPARATIVE, and therefore the MIND will always be AGAINST the HEART - the INNER battling AGAINST the OUTER! The result? Endless internal dialogue!

But IF I follow the heart, I find that it simply EMBRACES the mind in a state of full inclusiveness in which the inner and the outer blend softly, seamlessly, together!